Parents' Expectations!

"Are you happy with your job?", asked my father.

It was just another routine phone call to my parents back home. After convincing them that I was still hale and healthy, talk veered towards my job. When I mentioned that the past few weeks had been hectic, it was all the opening that my father needed to try and convince me to take up a new job at a place close to home.   

It has been more than a year and a half since I took up this job. Without going into the details of the job profile, let me say that it has been a satisfying and challenging experience so far. The job provided me an opportunity to come out of my comfort zone. Growing up in a small town, it can be quite tough initially to rough it out in the hustle and bustle of a big city. And having a personality of a saint does not help either. So I had to adjust according to my surroundings by shedding some of my inhibitions (I do have a lot of them!).

All these things, however, do not seem to matter to my parents. They keep expecting me to take up another job closer home with a bigger paycheck. Or, to give some competitive examination like CAT or UPSC. I try to wriggle out of this conversation almost every time it occurs. 

Parents do have a right to expect big things from their children. After all, every human being has regrets about things that he/she could not achieve during the prime of youth and career. And what better way to realize their dreams than by seeing their children achieve them! There is pride here, and a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in life. If life was a movie script, the children would have willingly sacrificed their own ambitions to walk the path chosen by their parents! 

Having said that, the expectations of a family might sometimes be stifling the growth of a person. The constant nagging might lead to a sense of helplessness and anger. At its worst, it could alienate that person from the family members. Although this might be highly unlikely, the possibility is still there. So now you ask me, what should parents really expect from their children? Shouldn't they have any say in their children's life? Let me put forth my views then.

Every parent has a duty to guide their children in the right path until they become adults. When the children reach adulthood, parents should take up the role of advisers rather than dictators. They should come to terms with the fact that it is time for the children to make their own decisions. There will be stumbling blocks along the way, incorrect decisions made; during these times, the parents should be willing to stay by their children's side and weather the storm together. Instead of admonishing, they should try to be enterprising and supportive. 

All these things would be worthwhile only if the children are willing to give proper due to all that was done by their parents in raising them. Each one of us should respect and understand the situations that made our parents to raise us in a certain way. 

Coming back to my story, I would like to say this to my parents: I appreciate the fact that you are trying to show me what you think is the right way forward in my life. I also recognize that my success and happiness is all that matters to you. However, I would like to forge a career of my own without the trappings of your expectations. Let me pursue the things I believe in, the things for which I am passionate about. Money matters, but not to the extent that one should throw away their passion in search of greener pastures. Education is important too, and I believe work experience is more useful than text-book learning. I might make some bad decisions in life; or I might eventually end up doing exactly what you want me to do. But right now, all I want is your support and belief in me. And I assure you, I will never let you down!